Well this is Happily Ever After...Hopefully.

Well its over. Here I am, four months from the first time I vented about my journey here with you all. I'm completely speechless.

I feel very detached from the idea of leaving. It doesn't compute, makes no sense at all. I find myself telling myself that it isn't happening; that I'll be back. In reality, its over. My heart sinks even mentioning the word over.

The only way I can describe the program was...rollercoaster, from start to finish. I can't believe some of the things that I've done and the choices I made. I had some of the grandest times of my life with some of the best people I have ever had the priviledge of knowing. It's them I'll never forget.

I just...don't even know what to say. I'm so far gone with everything. Hard to process. I know one thing. I will go home focused and more determined than ever to become the man I want to be. The other day, I had a mini "me day." I took myself to my favorite place on Disney property: The Animal Kingdom Lodge. There I decided to make a declaration of sorts, in writing. A Declaration of Self. The idea may seem laughable, the sole fact that I wrote the thing with a Mad Hatter Kooky pen adds to the rediculousness of it. But in it, I described in detail everything I knew about myself in that moment. Everything. From my obsession with chocolate, from dating and matters of the heart were in it including the things I found out about myself down here. The problem is, it's an ever growing list. I came down here expecting to completely change and become myself in four months. That was an incredibly stupid notion. I realize now that its a process, and a chronic one at that. It will never be over. I'll constantly evolve and devolp for the better. But having this concrete, guidemap of who I am now will, I think, prove beneficial to me in the future.

I can't wait to get home and begin my new life. I predict it will be a time much in the like of Liz's time in Bali in Eat Pray Love. The Love section. The introspection there, the search for God there, the comforts of human comapnionship there. However, I think I'll be studying myself more. I plan on learning to cook really well. I plan on trying to become fluent in Italian. I plan on mediate, pray, and reflect on my love for God. I plan on enjoying the company of friends without the added stress of the questionable future. Starting now, I live for now and I live in the present.

It's over. Making this post any longer prolongs an end. Saying goodbye to this is hard to do. But I need to put it away. Shelve the memories and the pages. I loved this experience. I love what it taught me. I'm not sure what life has in store for me, and I probably never will in this life because God is constantly surprising me. But I know that it will all be entirely ok. I know that I can make it through everything; that with God, Liam, Liz, a little bit of chocolate, and a bowl of Ramen, it's clear that God is in his Heaven and all is right with the world. Goodnight world, I'll see you tomorrow.