Today, I got to sleep in! Unbelievably invigorating! I simply can't describe the sense of inner calm I awoke with. Then, I got on facebook. If I'm ever on Facebook for an extended period of time, I get depressed. Don't ask me why, because I haven't the slightest idea myself. Maybe it's because I can feel my life passing by as I sit on the computer, virally communicating with people I rarely share face to face contact with, with people who only superficially care about me. Or perhaps it's the fact I can see everybody else's exciting and social lives as I sit around doing nothing but take a quiz to see what Bill Cosby Show character I'm most like.I absolutely abhor such Facebook games such as Farmville or Cafe World. These are the quintessential tools to ruining your own life. Though now that I'm down here, I have an oppertunity to have a more exhilerating life...but we all know how that's going.
So I spent the first half of the day sitting on the computer facebooking (I love that we live in an age where verbs are continuously being invented each and every day) it up. I participate in "What Celebrity Do I Look Like Week" in which one puts there own picture through a face recognition test to see what celebrity they most resemble and present it as their profile picture. I know that's a mouthfull for some of my older readers but I'm guessing those who do not get it aren't actually on Facebook so they're opinion about it is moot. Anyways, but I sit here typing away into the giant void of this social networking site, and the strong stench of Ramen noodles fills the air. That's because every single one of my roomates was making a batch. It is literally all they eat. I did pick up a few packets at Wal-Mart when I went, but I hadn't even cracked open a bag yet. I guess it's a nice change from the sweet aroma of savory sweets prevading the air. I guess that scent will be home to me here soon enough.
I head off to a bus to get to Hollywood Studios to retrieve my long forsaken key. I go and, as Liam, sweet talk a strong black woman and get my key. Relief overcomes me. I decided to go around the park and watch all the shows which are absolutely amazing! Then some girls sit next to me at Fantasmic and we get to talking, as they are also cast members; as Liam, of course. They totally beieve me and they start interogating me about my origins and my country and I fill them in with my mad improv skills (Except not...I kinda suck at improv. But now when it comes to facts about European countries!).
I leave the park and head back home excited for the meal I'm about to have, for I haven't eaten all day. I make Ramen noodles, to see what all the hubbub is about, and grab the chips and sour creme and some diet Dr. Pepper. Is there a meal any better than that? I dare anyone in the world to create a meal plan that can be as satisfying. They'll fail. As I was eating, it was as if my insides were covered with an electric blanket and the exterior of my body was being massaged by a professional masseuse.
Now I understand. Top ramen is a magical thing. I know comprehend why it's such a huge thing. It's not just that it's a cheap source of nourishment, but it instills a sense of hope and comfort. As the slippery noodles slide down your throat, you get the sense that all of your strife, your poverty, your hardships and sliding away as well; and, for that breif moment in time, your okay...your eating. Your eating the joy of comfort. And that is the most reassuring feeling ever.
PS. Bleaders (Julie Powell's term for Blog-Readers), I've been on this journey for one week. To think of where I started, and where I am now makes me feel...lonely, but accomplished. I started life over. I've been disovering myself, and more importantly God. This journey, after one week, has proven to be one of, if not the most, life definging moves in my life.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Headline: Raging Chocoholic Runs Rampid Downtown
My rescheuled meeting was for today at 8AM, which meant I would have to catch the bus at 709. So, naturally I wake up at about 645, due to the buzzing alarm, and told myself I have plenty of time. And I found out I did. I wake up again, by chance, not by alarm, at 706. I don't think I ever sprang out of bed/got dressed so fast in my entire life! I was bookin it! I raced out the door and hurried to the bus stop, with the notion of complete failure and utter dismay. But no! I made it! Ha ha! Take that Fate!
So I get on the bus completely frazzled and fix myself up. Perhaps it's a good thing I hardly know anyone here because I was a complete disaster! My hair was total bed hed, my shoes were half on, and some of my shirt was unbuttoned. It wasn't pretty. So anyways, I get there and it's the longest meeting I've ever attended in my life. Everytime I get to one of these meetings I plan on getting there early and sitting at the table where there's the most action. But unfortunately, for me, it's like going to the bank and trying to pick the shortest line and always picking the wrong one. This time, everyone was quiet and I sat an empty table thinking talkative people would just gravitate towards me...wrong. All my peeps were pretty much dead. It wasn't until we got on the bus, that table's got mixed up and started talking. I sat with some New Yorkers and a guy from Atlanta...It was pretty...ethnic. One of the New Yorkers was a large, Italian mafia-looking pizza shop worker, and the girl was a chain-smoking hip-hop girl. The Atlanta guy went to the Martin Luther King School down in Atlanta and apperantly is "knighted," in his own words, and much to his discomfort, the gayest college in the nation. You learn something new everyday, right? Anyways, they all started to talk about the rappers they love and I was way out of my league; sitting there as a white boy from Okalahoma, as I joked with them about later.
So after the meeting I have to take an extravegently planned system of buses and Monorails to get to Hollywood Studios, where I had left my apartment key the day previously. I called the day it happened and they said they had it with my name on it. So I go there, as Liam, and ask for my key. She pulls out the drawer and there's a whole bunch of keys. She starts pulling them out one by one and I look inside the drawer and theres one with my name on it. I tell her that's my name and she gives it to me. I'm elated, because this lack of key was presenting somewhat of a burden on me and my roomates. I arrive at home, excited because I have it and...it's the wrong one. In the corner, I see my terrace. I consider scaling it. What scared me about this, was that I suggested to myself "I should scale that, like Edward, like a twilight vampire," rather than Spiderman or a rock climber, or anything other than that! My masculinity was seriously challanged.
It was agian when I arrived home to a house where everyone had a signifcant other. One of my roomates girlfriends comes out, skimply dressed, to use the bathroom. Another is on the couch making out with my other roomate. Even my other roomate had his...friend over.
Thanks to the persistent nature of my mother, she tossed some money into my account to get the good eats around here. I was excited that I was going to eat a legit meal somewhere. So I ask Dayna to dinner and she goes conditionally: I have to go shoe shopping with her. Not real shoe shopping, work shoe shopping. Not quite as exciting. But I'm in a good mood, lucky for her because she's had a long day. I use my postive energy and uplifiting personality to brighten her spirits. It totally works and we start having a great time. We go downtown and go to a cuban resturant. I got their "famous roasted chicken," chicken in a creole sauce and other fixings, with Moro Rice, white rice tossed with black beans until the rice itself is black, and Maduros, fried bananas with the consistancy of a banana, and the look at texture of golden browned broiled potatoes. The Maduros were...interesting, and the Moro rice was good enough. When I go to a resturant, I dip everything in ranch; no, dip isn't the word...more like drench. But if I go for some Spanish-infulenced cuisine, I go for sour creme. Sour creme is the hispanic ranch. The chicken was tender and juicey, but I'm not a fan of complicated food. The kind you have to work around to get to, such as picking out bones. The diet coke was pretty good there too.
We had a splendid time strolling down the streets of downtown, taking pictures around different locations. We made a special trip to the Ghirardelli chocolate place (I am a constantly relapsing chocoholic) and get a little square of heaven. I choose to skip out on the ice cream with the heart-stopping scented chocolate covered waffle cone because I don't want to splurge all my money. But one day...
After that, we hit up all the candy stores. Most of the time just to pop in and walk around to sniff the place out. Just the sweet scent of sugar being everywhere can derive the simplest pleasure for a sweet-toothed, sugar-deprived child like me. Everywhere down there, they have these awesomely crafted candy apples. You can also make your own. It's "totally awesome."
We hed home after getting lost trying to find the way Dayna has to go to work. She drops me off, did I mention she has a car? It's awesome! I sound like a fifteen year old kid dating a sixteen chick with a way out of his parents house. Well, usually it's the other way around. Whatever. So I'm home, I talk with Justin for a while and go to bed.
So I get on the bus completely frazzled and fix myself up. Perhaps it's a good thing I hardly know anyone here because I was a complete disaster! My hair was total bed hed, my shoes were half on, and some of my shirt was unbuttoned. It wasn't pretty. So anyways, I get there and it's the longest meeting I've ever attended in my life. Everytime I get to one of these meetings I plan on getting there early and sitting at the table where there's the most action. But unfortunately, for me, it's like going to the bank and trying to pick the shortest line and always picking the wrong one. This time, everyone was quiet and I sat an empty table thinking talkative people would just gravitate towards me...wrong. All my peeps were pretty much dead. It wasn't until we got on the bus, that table's got mixed up and started talking. I sat with some New Yorkers and a guy from Atlanta...It was pretty...ethnic. One of the New Yorkers was a large, Italian mafia-looking pizza shop worker, and the girl was a chain-smoking hip-hop girl. The Atlanta guy went to the Martin Luther King School down in Atlanta and apperantly is "knighted," in his own words, and much to his discomfort, the gayest college in the nation. You learn something new everyday, right? Anyways, they all started to talk about the rappers they love and I was way out of my league; sitting there as a white boy from Okalahoma, as I joked with them about later.
So after the meeting I have to take an extravegently planned system of buses and Monorails to get to Hollywood Studios, where I had left my apartment key the day previously. I called the day it happened and they said they had it with my name on it. So I go there, as Liam, and ask for my key. She pulls out the drawer and there's a whole bunch of keys. She starts pulling them out one by one and I look inside the drawer and theres one with my name on it. I tell her that's my name and she gives it to me. I'm elated, because this lack of key was presenting somewhat of a burden on me and my roomates. I arrive at home, excited because I have it and...it's the wrong one. In the corner, I see my terrace. I consider scaling it. What scared me about this, was that I suggested to myself "I should scale that, like Edward, like a twilight vampire," rather than Spiderman or a rock climber, or anything other than that! My masculinity was seriously challanged.
It was agian when I arrived home to a house where everyone had a signifcant other. One of my roomates girlfriends comes out, skimply dressed, to use the bathroom. Another is on the couch making out with my other roomate. Even my other roomate had his...friend over.
Thanks to the persistent nature of my mother, she tossed some money into my account to get the good eats around here. I was excited that I was going to eat a legit meal somewhere. So I ask Dayna to dinner and she goes conditionally: I have to go shoe shopping with her. Not real shoe shopping, work shoe shopping. Not quite as exciting. But I'm in a good mood, lucky for her because she's had a long day. I use my postive energy and uplifiting personality to brighten her spirits. It totally works and we start having a great time. We go downtown and go to a cuban resturant. I got their "famous roasted chicken," chicken in a creole sauce and other fixings, with Moro Rice, white rice tossed with black beans until the rice itself is black, and Maduros, fried bananas with the consistancy of a banana, and the look at texture of golden browned broiled potatoes. The Maduros were...interesting, and the Moro rice was good enough. When I go to a resturant, I dip everything in ranch; no, dip isn't the word...more like drench. But if I go for some Spanish-infulenced cuisine, I go for sour creme. Sour creme is the hispanic ranch. The chicken was tender and juicey, but I'm not a fan of complicated food. The kind you have to work around to get to, such as picking out bones. The diet coke was pretty good there too.
We had a splendid time strolling down the streets of downtown, taking pictures around different locations. We made a special trip to the Ghirardelli chocolate place (I am a constantly relapsing chocoholic) and get a little square of heaven. I choose to skip out on the ice cream with the heart-stopping scented chocolate covered waffle cone because I don't want to splurge all my money. But one day...
After that, we hit up all the candy stores. Most of the time just to pop in and walk around to sniff the place out. Just the sweet scent of sugar being everywhere can derive the simplest pleasure for a sweet-toothed, sugar-deprived child like me. Everywhere down there, they have these awesomely crafted candy apples. You can also make your own. It's "totally awesome."
We hed home after getting lost trying to find the way Dayna has to go to work. She drops me off, did I mention she has a car? It's awesome! I sound like a fifteen year old kid dating a sixteen chick with a way out of his parents house. Well, usually it's the other way around. Whatever. So I'm home, I talk with Justin for a while and go to bed.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Disney: a Place to Discover, Have Fun, and Take a Trip...Or a Million Trips
Today, I shall refer to as the day full of trips. I was falling over myself constantly and I stumbled upon myself about seventy times. I was constantly losing my balance, and often times falling right on my face. Seriously, I would be walking and, in front of the entire world, slip and fall straight on my ass. I'm not embrassased ever, just annoyed after a while. I mean, I know I'm the clumsiest person around and I accept that responsibility. But it's a hard burden to bare. I'm such a Bella (Ah, Lord strike me dead for a Twilight reference...)!
So today was an early start, which I will start again tomorrow same time, bright and early at 630AM. I got on the bus and turned on my Zune. This zune has become my best friend. I feel rather awful bleeding him dry by the end of everyday but what else is there to do with hour long bus drives to the places you need to get to when you're not a woman with a purse or a man with a...satchel (Hey...Indiana Jones has one)?
So I walk around the park that I work at, Hollywood Studios. We do this for about four or five hours this morning. It was interesing at point and learned of intriguing facts about the parks. But, more importantly, the smells of all the food! Un-freakin-bearable! I simply cannot get over how great this place smells everywhere you go! And not having any money to do anything. When the training was over and we went home, I hit the food cabinet. I ate like a bit of everything I had; the chips, dipped in a tons of sour creme, crackers dived into the tub of cream cheese over and over, and all while I grazed on turkey. I felt terrible about eating so much. I'm trying to maintain some trace of a healthy diet while down her, but there was that voice again. "Aaron, don't worry. Eat what you want. Your healthy. Eat what you want. This is your time away, this is your vacation from who you were, the boy who wouldn't dare to eat anything over 600 hundred calories. Eat what you want. You haven't even eaten all day...Eat what you want (the voices sound is always so calming and reassuring and seems logical). God do I love that voice.
I had suggested loose and vague plans with Amanda to do something once I got off work. Eventually it was decided she was going to go to Epcot, along with a few of her roomates. Teddy was supposed to join, but last time I saw him getting off the bus he was off with some girl going to her place so I was a tad skeptical. Also, I found myself wanting to have some alone time; even though that was the exact thing I had been bitching about for the last however many days (It's friday already?!). But, deep down, it's not what I really wanted. What I really was doing was just being lazy and probably allowing a way for me to feel pity on myself, I realized. So i decided that I should and will go. Amanda later informs me that all of her roomates are going, and Teddy texts me on my way there to say he is also on his way.
So I go, and I of course have a great time. Epcot is one of the, if not THE, kewlest theme parks at Disney. Whether it was going on the awesome rides or traveling down the world street, where I found so much panda parafanalia my heart stopped several times, it was incredibly delightful. I got along real well, I thought, with Amanda's roomates and, with Amanda and Teddy there, it was kind of easy flowing. The smells. So tempting! So many times while in the China portion, I wanted to stop and get Chinese food. Oddly, even the scent of coffee made me hungry. All I wanted to do was go home as fast as I could an tear into that roll of sugar cookie dough (and boy did I!). There was one point in which Lisa, one of Amanda's roomates who is wonderfully tall, and I suffered agonizing torture as we walked by a funnel cake stand. At least we had each other for emotional support.
I also tried speaking Spanish with Amanda's Puerto Rican roomate, who's name doesn't come to mind. I have an idea of what it could be, but I'm not entirely sure. I have found that I suck at names. I guess that also qualifies me for sucking at facial recognition. You learn something new everyday, and today I learned I suck at Spanish. I wasn't completely ignorant of the language's way and some of the vocab. I remebered little and was able to slightly work with what I knew. But she needed help practicing her English anyways so it was a plus for the both of us. Anyways, it was lot's of fun. But that doesn't mean I wasn't tripping the whole time; because believe me, I was.
So today was an early start, which I will start again tomorrow same time, bright and early at 630AM. I got on the bus and turned on my Zune. This zune has become my best friend. I feel rather awful bleeding him dry by the end of everyday but what else is there to do with hour long bus drives to the places you need to get to when you're not a woman with a purse or a man with a...satchel (Hey...Indiana Jones has one)?
So I walk around the park that I work at, Hollywood Studios. We do this for about four or five hours this morning. It was interesing at point and learned of intriguing facts about the parks. But, more importantly, the smells of all the food! Un-freakin-bearable! I simply cannot get over how great this place smells everywhere you go! And not having any money to do anything. When the training was over and we went home, I hit the food cabinet. I ate like a bit of everything I had; the chips, dipped in a tons of sour creme, crackers dived into the tub of cream cheese over and over, and all while I grazed on turkey. I felt terrible about eating so much. I'm trying to maintain some trace of a healthy diet while down her, but there was that voice again. "Aaron, don't worry. Eat what you want. Your healthy. Eat what you want. This is your time away, this is your vacation from who you were, the boy who wouldn't dare to eat anything over 600 hundred calories. Eat what you want. You haven't even eaten all day...Eat what you want (the voices sound is always so calming and reassuring and seems logical). God do I love that voice.
I had suggested loose and vague plans with Amanda to do something once I got off work. Eventually it was decided she was going to go to Epcot, along with a few of her roomates. Teddy was supposed to join, but last time I saw him getting off the bus he was off with some girl going to her place so I was a tad skeptical. Also, I found myself wanting to have some alone time; even though that was the exact thing I had been bitching about for the last however many days (It's friday already?!). But, deep down, it's not what I really wanted. What I really was doing was just being lazy and probably allowing a way for me to feel pity on myself, I realized. So i decided that I should and will go. Amanda later informs me that all of her roomates are going, and Teddy texts me on my way there to say he is also on his way.
So I go, and I of course have a great time. Epcot is one of the, if not THE, kewlest theme parks at Disney. Whether it was going on the awesome rides or traveling down the world street, where I found so much panda parafanalia my heart stopped several times, it was incredibly delightful. I got along real well, I thought, with Amanda's roomates and, with Amanda and Teddy there, it was kind of easy flowing. The smells. So tempting! So many times while in the China portion, I wanted to stop and get Chinese food. Oddly, even the scent of coffee made me hungry. All I wanted to do was go home as fast as I could an tear into that roll of sugar cookie dough (and boy did I!). There was one point in which Lisa, one of Amanda's roomates who is wonderfully tall, and I suffered agonizing torture as we walked by a funnel cake stand. At least we had each other for emotional support.
I also tried speaking Spanish with Amanda's Puerto Rican roomate, who's name doesn't come to mind. I have an idea of what it could be, but I'm not entirely sure. I have found that I suck at names. I guess that also qualifies me for sucking at facial recognition. You learn something new everyday, and today I learned I suck at Spanish. I wasn't completely ignorant of the language's way and some of the vocab. I remebered little and was able to slightly work with what I knew. But she needed help practicing her English anyways so it was a plus for the both of us. Anyways, it was lot's of fun. But that doesn't mean I wasn't tripping the whole time; because believe me, I was.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Bus Fiascos, a Little Voice, and a Lighting Bolt-Scarred Friend
So much for last night little round of bus trips...
So much never sleeping...
just, how do you say, f. m. l.
I went to sleep around midnight or later, etremely early for someone like me. I awoke in due to time, by the grace of god, to catch the bus to the 8AM meeting I had today. Actually, it wasn't a meeting it was a training. So I get on the bus, and start listening to my zune like life is good. Then I realize I have taken the wrong bus. It takes forever and a couple more centuries for a bus to make a complete circle, but I do so and catch the right bus. Once I arrive to the location I need to be on, I go into the building and search around for the room I need to be in. It didn't take long; I'm incredibly perceptive when I need to be and I found the room in a matter of minutes. I didn't want to interupt the class I was already an hour late for so I just stood outside it for a second. Thankfully, lady with a clipboard comes out of one of them (Ladies with clipboards are always a good thing. Ladies with clipboards are always your friends, you'll find). So she asks my name and finds I'm the only one on the list who isn't smart enough to find a bus that will taken him where he needs to go. She's incredibly friendly, as everyone here is (they claim it's "in the water"), and she reschedules my class for the day aftertomorrow. I'm glad, but thorougly bruised.
I sulk back to the bus stop and wait for my bus. I get on the bus aggrivated with myself. I started beating myself up, not physically of course because then I really would be clinically insane and for now I'd like to just stay self-diagnosed. I felt like, though she said, "treat this as a day off," she really was saying "your not worth us employing and you should pack up your things and get the hell out!" She didn't have this tone, it's just the way I hear things...it's unhealthy. So I start thinking of all the ways I'm going to punish myself for Schruting (again, if you don't get the reference...please leave now....[not really, all are welcome here...well execpt demons...not a fan)]this up.
I told myself, "don't even think about going to a park or having any once of happiness today." But, after a few minutes of self-hatred, a tiny voice in my head started speaking to me. I found the voice that Liz in EAT PRAY LOVE (Okay, it seems like I'm living my life through this book, but truth is it's just a really good book and Liz and I are both on a journey and finding ourselves in some way or another). It's not the voice of God telling us what to do, but it's ourselves; the part of ourselves that we hve the most intimate reltionship with. I was shocked. I never expected myself, in a million years, to find this within myself.
It told me "Aaon, stop beating yourself up with the oppressive guilt you've dealt with your whole life. You made a mistake and those happen to everyone. The world is not coming to an end, and even though the bus is completely empty, you're not alone. I'm here for you and I will be this entire trip. Go home, get some sleep. You haven't slept very much at all. You need to go take care of yurself toay. You've been through a lot to get here. And, guess what? You're here, and truthfully everything's fine. So sleep. And don't forget, when you need me I'm here."
Thanks me, your the kewest! I return to my place and hed straight for the bed, heeding the voice's directions (because when yourself tells you to do something as verbally as this, you don't just ignore it). So that's what I did. I slept like there's no tomorrow. I slept until about four. Took a shower, and got ready.
I've been feeling a lot like a sim lately, not the kind you play as but the automated sims already on the game; taking care of the basic necessities when they get low and being social only when someone approaches me and doing small things to earn a few friend points. And I catch the carpool to go to work when its time and I fastforward to when I get home and repeat the pattern.
The thing I was getting ready for was a welcoming event, a little party in my aprtment complex. It was... a little boring, mostly because I am incapable of knowing how to having fun, at least now with my adult rebirth. I went my roomate, well...I didn't really go with him but we walked together. When we arrived we ate free food which was an upside. We met a gay guy there who was on his sixth college program. He was alone, which I found strange for someone who's done this so many times. There was a little competition where the DJ shouted out an object and they had to bring it to him. He shouted "two guys holding hands skipping" and my roomate grabs my hand and we start skipping to win a water bottle. Woot! Once the dancing music started, he kept insisting we riverdance and cancan. He's not gay, he's just awkward. It's not a bad thing, especially since he's no where near as awkward as I am. He's wonderfully kind as well. He is currently playing Goldeneye. I may join him later.
Later on, Teddy shows up. I was excited and I kinda ditched my roommate (sorry Matt) and talked to him for a bit. He was obviously waiting for other friends (he's a major socialite) and I went to take a picture with Mickey while he ate pizza. After I was done, he was in line with a rather tall girl. I decided not to linger. I was desperately texting Amanda, who was on her way, to tell me when she got there. Once she did I met up with her and ate with her and her super Cali girl roomate.
After that, an Aussie girl lost her friends and asked to sit with us. So naturally, we started interoatting her about her country. She was a film student, which its awesome, and she's a lifeguard down here (apperantly everyone and their mother is a lifeguard or works at one of the hotels. Seriously, everyone I talk to is a lifeguard or bellhop...even my roomates are). It was fscinating and conversation flowed well for a realy long time. We all sat there for hours talking about Australia, and American superstitions. Apperantly, they don't have a big film industry and 3D is a completely new concept for them. Where as, annoyingly, almost every film here is. They know nothing of 3D dvds or anything. They are very focused on American culture as they get all the music and movies we do added to the stuff they had and they love Obama. The rest of Alex's, the Aussie, roomates caught up with her and she leaves as the party ends.
Then the party shuts down. Alex and I are seperated, Amanda's off with her roomates going to a movie (she invited but I didn't want to impose), and I hadn't seen Teddy in like forever. So I head home, alone. When I get home, I sit around. Matt is home and I start facebooking. One of my roomates brings home two girls, the same roomate that told me last night that he ran into his girlfriend in the parking lot and her roomate and that the roomate asked his girlfriend if she could make out with him and she said yes and he was doing so after right in front of her and "it was sooooo ill!," and he entertains one while the other is entertained by Matt.
Later, the rest of their roomates come to apartment. They walk around amazed at how nice it is here. Apperantly were in the friggin' Ritz-carlton of the apartments. And the most amazing thing happened! The girl that Matt was...entertaining...kept making asides to me and then I found out....She's a Harry Potter fan! Not just a fan, a Super fan! She brought her slytherin tie from home! Ah! We hit it off and then started to play Nintendo 64 for about....the rest of the night. The whole time we quoted Potter Puppet Pals, talked about our other nerdy obsessions, and had fun reliving our childhood through Mario Kart, Star Wars Podracing, and conversations about Pokemon! I'm estatic, because when I arrived here I knew I would have to have someone who: a)Loved Harry Potter (check) b) Really wants to see Alice in Wonderland (a little check because she's not obsessed...yet...we'll get her there) c)(preferably) has a car (Check). Done! Sold! She's a little older than me but ah well... I found a fellow Harry Potter friend and that...(for those of you familiar with A Very Potter Musical) is totally awesome.
So much never sleeping...
just, how do you say, f. m. l.
I went to sleep around midnight or later, etremely early for someone like me. I awoke in due to time, by the grace of god, to catch the bus to the 8AM meeting I had today. Actually, it wasn't a meeting it was a training. So I get on the bus, and start listening to my zune like life is good. Then I realize I have taken the wrong bus. It takes forever and a couple more centuries for a bus to make a complete circle, but I do so and catch the right bus. Once I arrive to the location I need to be on, I go into the building and search around for the room I need to be in. It didn't take long; I'm incredibly perceptive when I need to be and I found the room in a matter of minutes. I didn't want to interupt the class I was already an hour late for so I just stood outside it for a second. Thankfully, lady with a clipboard comes out of one of them (Ladies with clipboards are always a good thing. Ladies with clipboards are always your friends, you'll find). So she asks my name and finds I'm the only one on the list who isn't smart enough to find a bus that will taken him where he needs to go. She's incredibly friendly, as everyone here is (they claim it's "in the water"), and she reschedules my class for the day aftertomorrow. I'm glad, but thorougly bruised.
I sulk back to the bus stop and wait for my bus. I get on the bus aggrivated with myself. I started beating myself up, not physically of course because then I really would be clinically insane and for now I'd like to just stay self-diagnosed. I felt like, though she said, "treat this as a day off," she really was saying "your not worth us employing and you should pack up your things and get the hell out!" She didn't have this tone, it's just the way I hear things...it's unhealthy. So I start thinking of all the ways I'm going to punish myself for Schruting (again, if you don't get the reference...please leave now....[not really, all are welcome here...well execpt demons...not a fan)]this up.
I told myself, "don't even think about going to a park or having any once of happiness today." But, after a few minutes of self-hatred, a tiny voice in my head started speaking to me. I found the voice that Liz in EAT PRAY LOVE (Okay, it seems like I'm living my life through this book, but truth is it's just a really good book and Liz and I are both on a journey and finding ourselves in some way or another). It's not the voice of God telling us what to do, but it's ourselves; the part of ourselves that we hve the most intimate reltionship with. I was shocked. I never expected myself, in a million years, to find this within myself.
It told me "Aaon, stop beating yourself up with the oppressive guilt you've dealt with your whole life. You made a mistake and those happen to everyone. The world is not coming to an end, and even though the bus is completely empty, you're not alone. I'm here for you and I will be this entire trip. Go home, get some sleep. You haven't slept very much at all. You need to go take care of yurself toay. You've been through a lot to get here. And, guess what? You're here, and truthfully everything's fine. So sleep. And don't forget, when you need me I'm here."
Thanks me, your the kewest! I return to my place and hed straight for the bed, heeding the voice's directions (because when yourself tells you to do something as verbally as this, you don't just ignore it). So that's what I did. I slept like there's no tomorrow. I slept until about four. Took a shower, and got ready.
I've been feeling a lot like a sim lately, not the kind you play as but the automated sims already on the game; taking care of the basic necessities when they get low and being social only when someone approaches me and doing small things to earn a few friend points. And I catch the carpool to go to work when its time and I fastforward to when I get home and repeat the pattern.
The thing I was getting ready for was a welcoming event, a little party in my aprtment complex. It was... a little boring, mostly because I am incapable of knowing how to having fun, at least now with my adult rebirth. I went my roomate, well...I didn't really go with him but we walked together. When we arrived we ate free food which was an upside. We met a gay guy there who was on his sixth college program. He was alone, which I found strange for someone who's done this so many times. There was a little competition where the DJ shouted out an object and they had to bring it to him. He shouted "two guys holding hands skipping" and my roomate grabs my hand and we start skipping to win a water bottle. Woot! Once the dancing music started, he kept insisting we riverdance and cancan. He's not gay, he's just awkward. It's not a bad thing, especially since he's no where near as awkward as I am. He's wonderfully kind as well. He is currently playing Goldeneye. I may join him later.
Later on, Teddy shows up. I was excited and I kinda ditched my roommate (sorry Matt) and talked to him for a bit. He was obviously waiting for other friends (he's a major socialite) and I went to take a picture with Mickey while he ate pizza. After I was done, he was in line with a rather tall girl. I decided not to linger. I was desperately texting Amanda, who was on her way, to tell me when she got there. Once she did I met up with her and ate with her and her super Cali girl roomate.
After that, an Aussie girl lost her friends and asked to sit with us. So naturally, we started interoatting her about her country. She was a film student, which its awesome, and she's a lifeguard down here (apperantly everyone and their mother is a lifeguard or works at one of the hotels. Seriously, everyone I talk to is a lifeguard or bellhop...even my roomates are). It was fscinating and conversation flowed well for a realy long time. We all sat there for hours talking about Australia, and American superstitions. Apperantly, they don't have a big film industry and 3D is a completely new concept for them. Where as, annoyingly, almost every film here is. They know nothing of 3D dvds or anything. They are very focused on American culture as they get all the music and movies we do added to the stuff they had and they love Obama. The rest of Alex's, the Aussie, roomates caught up with her and she leaves as the party ends.
Then the party shuts down. Alex and I are seperated, Amanda's off with her roomates going to a movie (she invited but I didn't want to impose), and I hadn't seen Teddy in like forever. So I head home, alone. When I get home, I sit around. Matt is home and I start facebooking. One of my roomates brings home two girls, the same roomate that told me last night that he ran into his girlfriend in the parking lot and her roomate and that the roomate asked his girlfriend if she could make out with him and she said yes and he was doing so after right in front of her and "it was sooooo ill!," and he entertains one while the other is entertained by Matt.
Later, the rest of their roomates come to apartment. They walk around amazed at how nice it is here. Apperantly were in the friggin' Ritz-carlton of the apartments. And the most amazing thing happened! The girl that Matt was...entertaining...kept making asides to me and then I found out....She's a Harry Potter fan! Not just a fan, a Super fan! She brought her slytherin tie from home! Ah! We hit it off and then started to play Nintendo 64 for about....the rest of the night. The whole time we quoted Potter Puppet Pals, talked about our other nerdy obsessions, and had fun reliving our childhood through Mario Kart, Star Wars Podracing, and conversations about Pokemon! I'm estatic, because when I arrived here I knew I would have to have someone who: a)Loved Harry Potter (check) b) Really wants to see Alice in Wonderland (a little check because she's not obsessed...yet...we'll get her there) c)(preferably) has a car (Check). Done! Sold! She's a little older than me but ah well... I found a fellow Harry Potter friend and that...(for those of you familiar with A Very Potter Musical) is totally awesome.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
One Short Day, in the Magical Kingdom
I didn't sleep last night. At all. Don't be alarmed, this is normal for me. I'm a class A insomniac (to which Teddy feels sorry for me, but I told him Remers, a term I coined for people on a regular sleep schedule in my fantasy IA: Insomniacs Anoymous) and I'm up to late hours of the nig- well, technically, morning and that's if I go to bed at all. But by the time I got done with my last blog entry last night, there had been no point in sleeping considering I had a meeting at 645...AM! today. It went on for six hours.
While at the meeting, I sat with two gents that were very...business like and cold. I tried to lighten the mood by putting on my British persona, Liam Stewart, to open up a door for conversation; a pathetic way of going about it but oh well. They weren't havin' it. It's weird, ever since I've arrived...the only way I can explain it...is that, it's as if I were just being born, as an adult; as if I've completely forgoten to interact with, you know, the human race. Anywhoser...
The meeting's over and we are now free to roam about the parks. Since Amanda and Teddy had the meeting later on in the day, I didn't know what to do with myself. I wanted to go to a park of course, but I didn't necessarily want to go alone. I was holding out for the people at the meeting to be kewl kids... c'est la vie. I went home and tried to cook an egg. YES, I know how to fry an egg. But I forgot to pick up butter and/r Pam so I used a little bit of water to try to loosen the bottom of the pan a little. The result was like a log of egg whites with the yolk, amazingly still intact, inside. It was interesting to say the least. Then I decided I would go to a park. I needed to learn how to be alone, like Liz talks about in EAT PRAY LOVE. Plus, I needed to practice being a young person at Disney. I needed to try and learn how to loosen up a little. But, techincally I didn't go alone. I took my Bullseye, from TOy STORY 2, watch. I have a affinity for character watches. It's so bad that Teddy and Amanda noticed my habit yesterday after knowing me for a matter of hours. I got some serious issues apperantly. But...hey, I collect them. I don't really collect anything else, except for shot glasses; a random choice because I felt like I needed to collect something. But in my opinion, character watches totally trump shot glasses.
There's something oddly refreshing about going to an amusement park by yourself. I had been to Magic Kingdom before, I picked it because I want to experience new things with my new friends. Plus, I had unfinished business in that park. Such as the kick ass Space Mountain, seeing my favorite thing in the whole park, Mickey's Philharmagic, three more times, and some other rides. I decided I'd make it a date night with me and Bullseye. We went on several adventures together, of which a full album of mishaps are available on Facebook, and I slapped on my British persona on. It was however extremely tortuous to experience the wofting of the intoxicating scents of the delecatable treats...EVERYWHERE! I was wildly hungry, but I decided not to spend money when I had such a feast waiting at home...not!
Anyways, I'm somewhat glad I didn't go with people because it gave me an oppertunity to observe the human race, which is good since I apperntly suck at joining it. Anyways, while waiting for a ride to let me on, I stood between an Italian father and his daughter and the classic Amerian family on the otherside. The ride was broken for a few minutes, so the Italian (I know because I can recognize the language now...yay!) father playfulls interacts with his delightfully bright and bubbly daughter. Heartwarming, right? Until you have Jeff Foxworthy's more sophisticated cousin from the north semi-shouting in your ear to his family about how the ride is taking forever. His children backed him up and started bickering as children do. He says he'll leave if it doesn't open in five minutes. Ten minutes later he stands there. His wife states how it's probably not even any good. Also, aperantly they were signifcantly put off by the sound of maracas. One minute later the doors open. Once I'm in, an older lady yells at me to get out of the way if I'm just going to stand there. I forgot how...diverse the human race could be.
So I return home, I figure I should probably familiarize myself with my bus system for tomorrow so I do that. That's what I do with my evenings. Ride the Bus. I'm pretty much the wildest kid I know. But hey, we're working on it...Bullseye and me.
While at the meeting, I sat with two gents that were very...business like and cold. I tried to lighten the mood by putting on my British persona, Liam Stewart, to open up a door for conversation; a pathetic way of going about it but oh well. They weren't havin' it. It's weird, ever since I've arrived...the only way I can explain it...is that, it's as if I were just being born, as an adult; as if I've completely forgoten to interact with, you know, the human race. Anywhoser...
The meeting's over and we are now free to roam about the parks. Since Amanda and Teddy had the meeting later on in the day, I didn't know what to do with myself. I wanted to go to a park of course, but I didn't necessarily want to go alone. I was holding out for the people at the meeting to be kewl kids... c'est la vie. I went home and tried to cook an egg. YES, I know how to fry an egg. But I forgot to pick up butter and/r Pam so I used a little bit of water to try to loosen the bottom of the pan a little. The result was like a log of egg whites with the yolk, amazingly still intact, inside. It was interesting to say the least. Then I decided I would go to a park. I needed to learn how to be alone, like Liz talks about in EAT PRAY LOVE. Plus, I needed to practice being a young person at Disney. I needed to try and learn how to loosen up a little. But, techincally I didn't go alone. I took my Bullseye, from TOy STORY 2, watch. I have a affinity for character watches. It's so bad that Teddy and Amanda noticed my habit yesterday after knowing me for a matter of hours. I got some serious issues apperantly. But...hey, I collect them. I don't really collect anything else, except for shot glasses; a random choice because I felt like I needed to collect something. But in my opinion, character watches totally trump shot glasses.
There's something oddly refreshing about going to an amusement park by yourself. I had been to Magic Kingdom before, I picked it because I want to experience new things with my new friends. Plus, I had unfinished business in that park. Such as the kick ass Space Mountain, seeing my favorite thing in the whole park, Mickey's Philharmagic, three more times, and some other rides. I decided I'd make it a date night with me and Bullseye. We went on several adventures together, of which a full album of mishaps are available on Facebook, and I slapped on my British persona on. It was however extremely tortuous to experience the wofting of the intoxicating scents of the delecatable treats...EVERYWHERE! I was wildly hungry, but I decided not to spend money when I had such a feast waiting at home...not!
Anyways, I'm somewhat glad I didn't go with people because it gave me an oppertunity to observe the human race, which is good since I apperntly suck at joining it. Anyways, while waiting for a ride to let me on, I stood between an Italian father and his daughter and the classic Amerian family on the otherside. The ride was broken for a few minutes, so the Italian (I know because I can recognize the language now...yay!) father playfulls interacts with his delightfully bright and bubbly daughter. Heartwarming, right? Until you have Jeff Foxworthy's more sophisticated cousin from the north semi-shouting in your ear to his family about how the ride is taking forever. His children backed him up and started bickering as children do. He says he'll leave if it doesn't open in five minutes. Ten minutes later he stands there. His wife states how it's probably not even any good. Also, aperantly they were signifcantly put off by the sound of maracas. One minute later the doors open. Once I'm in, an older lady yells at me to get out of the way if I'm just going to stand there. I forgot how...diverse the human race could be.
So I return home, I figure I should probably familiarize myself with my bus system for tomorrow so I do that. That's what I do with my evenings. Ride the Bus. I'm pretty much the wildest kid I know. But hey, we're working on it...Bullseye and me.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Wow...It's Good to Have Semblance of a Life Again
So here's the thing... when I say "I woke up..." I mean i woke up about nine times before I actually rise and join the living. So I set my alarm for 815 for a 945 meeting we had this morning. The alarm doesn't go off, but I wake up at about a little before nine. However, I return to sleep thinking I have plenty of time. I wake up again at 910 saying to myself "getting up right about now would be a good thing." So naturally, I fell back asleep. I awake at 920 and I start yelling to myself "If you don't get up I'm gonna beat you up." So i jump out of bed and quickly get ready and speed out the door and start hoofing it (I walk because it's a short distance from my complex). I run into some familiar faces in front of my path on I am on. They are walking hella slow. People walking slow in front of me is probably the second thing that irritates me, after small talk, is people walking slow in front of me. And I know I'm not the only one, but I feel rather rude about this part of me. I don't want to pass them up because I feel like that would be little rude, so I simply walk at the speed of smell behind them.
When I arrive at the meeting, I stand off to a pillar by myself awaiting for the doors to open. I thought I may have to suffer through the ordeal by myself until out of the blue pops a small (well smaller than me...I'm kind of a giant, puerto rican guy named Teddy. I had met him the day previously on the bus to a different meeting and thought, after I departed from the bus, I'd never see him again. But, at fate would have it, here he was. He greeted me and we kinda hit it off. Thank God! a friend! We start talkin, and then goofing off by talking in different accents to each other (of which he is an absolute master. He can do almost any! from Donald Duck to Russian...well any European accent flawlessly). Moments later, someone he met yesterday comes up. Her name's Amanda. They seem like they've been friends for years. And, thankfully, I got along with her too. The moment I knew we'd be friends is when, this being one of the very first convos we'd ever had with each other, started talking about a tiny squirell that she referred to as a ninja. We all attended the meeting together, bonding all along the way. Then we got on a bus after the meeting, well Amanda and I did because Teddy met up with Justin, convientantly a roomate of mine, to go somewhere. Amanda and I continue to chat pleasantly the whole ride home. I turn to her before she leaves and say "We should be friends, what's your number so we can hang sometime or something." She gives it to me and departs. And I head home excited.
The thing I was most excited about this new gang, was that it was beginning to extremely resemble the world of Harry Potter. I thought we could be the new-age neo-trio. I would be the Harry, the slightly emo, angst-filled kid in the back waiting for life to come along in a whole new world and I would have my best friend, Ron, the likeable to everyone and hilarious Teddy; also, my frazzled, delightfully rambling Hermione, Amanda (no word on whether Teddy and Amanda pick at each other and are secretly in love but they have a couple more novels to get there). There was even a Neville-type character that approached us while waiting for the meeting and said something about talking animals and walked away, awkwardly. Also, the buses kind of reminded me of the Hogwarts Express, the carriages and rowboats, or what not; types of transportation that were taking cheery people, as seen by the laughing faces through the windows, to several different places. So...I was set.
Afterward, I decided to take the buses around places to familiarize myself with where some of them lead to and incidentally I wound up on one that went to Wal-Mart. Being in a brilliant mode, I decided to go ahead and go. So I walked into the store and grabbed a cart. There's something delightfully independant-feeling/faintly lonesome about shopping for yourself on your own. I was browsing the shelves. I made myself pact that the way I would shop would be to not buy any item over three $3 (excluding the rotessire chicken because that was a delicacy that could b kept a while). So I picked up the staples of my diet: sugar cookie dough, crackers, cream cheese, and sour creme (I have a sour creme problem...well, sadly, more of an addiction...I blame society...I'll come up with a reason in the next few... nevers), and picked up few oher items like apples, bananas, lays light chips and some packets of Ramen. Then, I decided that I'd skip out on the chicken and wait for a day when I'd eat it. I wouldn't eat it tonight because, now that I felt that I had friends, asked Amanda if she'd like to go to Downtown. She said sure, and I asked her to invite Teddy to as well. I'm the hanging out instigator again! I felt like myself again; back to having a life.
So we all meet up and head there. We eat at Planet Hollywood (as a newly converted foodie I must explain what I ate: a smoked chicken sandwhich with avacado and Lemon alioli (a type lemon mayo) and fries. The fries were absolutely amazing, as Teddy agreed, and the sandwhich was good, particularly the lemon alioli). The ice breaker, not that one was actually necessary, was when I made a That's What She Said joke (normally, I am awful at then, as I am a massive prude). There was a moment of silence as we looked at each other...followed by busting up laughing. After, we sang and danced through the streets of downtown, goofed off at the shops, and spoke in accents around as well. We had an all-around good time. At least from my standpoint. I had fun, but I know not of their own personal entertainment. I see them as my friends, I don't know exactly how they feel about me. I guess there's only one way to know: when it's Facebook official...
When I arrive at the meeting, I stand off to a pillar by myself awaiting for the doors to open. I thought I may have to suffer through the ordeal by myself until out of the blue pops a small (well smaller than me...I'm kind of a giant, puerto rican guy named Teddy. I had met him the day previously on the bus to a different meeting and thought, after I departed from the bus, I'd never see him again. But, at fate would have it, here he was. He greeted me and we kinda hit it off. Thank God! a friend! We start talkin, and then goofing off by talking in different accents to each other (of which he is an absolute master. He can do almost any! from Donald Duck to Russian...well any European accent flawlessly). Moments later, someone he met yesterday comes up. Her name's Amanda. They seem like they've been friends for years. And, thankfully, I got along with her too. The moment I knew we'd be friends is when, this being one of the very first convos we'd ever had with each other, started talking about a tiny squirell that she referred to as a ninja. We all attended the meeting together, bonding all along the way. Then we got on a bus after the meeting, well Amanda and I did because Teddy met up with Justin, convientantly a roomate of mine, to go somewhere. Amanda and I continue to chat pleasantly the whole ride home. I turn to her before she leaves and say "We should be friends, what's your number so we can hang sometime or something." She gives it to me and departs. And I head home excited.
The thing I was most excited about this new gang, was that it was beginning to extremely resemble the world of Harry Potter. I thought we could be the new-age neo-trio. I would be the Harry, the slightly emo, angst-filled kid in the back waiting for life to come along in a whole new world and I would have my best friend, Ron, the likeable to everyone and hilarious Teddy; also, my frazzled, delightfully rambling Hermione, Amanda (no word on whether Teddy and Amanda pick at each other and are secretly in love but they have a couple more novels to get there). There was even a Neville-type character that approached us while waiting for the meeting and said something about talking animals and walked away, awkwardly. Also, the buses kind of reminded me of the Hogwarts Express, the carriages and rowboats, or what not; types of transportation that were taking cheery people, as seen by the laughing faces through the windows, to several different places. So...I was set.
Afterward, I decided to take the buses around places to familiarize myself with where some of them lead to and incidentally I wound up on one that went to Wal-Mart. Being in a brilliant mode, I decided to go ahead and go. So I walked into the store and grabbed a cart. There's something delightfully independant-feeling/faintly lonesome about shopping for yourself on your own. I was browsing the shelves. I made myself pact that the way I would shop would be to not buy any item over three $3 (excluding the rotessire chicken because that was a delicacy that could b kept a while). So I picked up the staples of my diet: sugar cookie dough, crackers, cream cheese, and sour creme (I have a sour creme problem...well, sadly, more of an addiction...I blame society...I'll come up with a reason in the next few... nevers), and picked up few oher items like apples, bananas, lays light chips and some packets of Ramen. Then, I decided that I'd skip out on the chicken and wait for a day when I'd eat it. I wouldn't eat it tonight because, now that I felt that I had friends, asked Amanda if she'd like to go to Downtown. She said sure, and I asked her to invite Teddy to as well. I'm the hanging out instigator again! I felt like myself again; back to having a life.
So we all meet up and head there. We eat at Planet Hollywood (as a newly converted foodie I must explain what I ate: a smoked chicken sandwhich with avacado and Lemon alioli (a type lemon mayo) and fries. The fries were absolutely amazing, as Teddy agreed, and the sandwhich was good, particularly the lemon alioli). The ice breaker, not that one was actually necessary, was when I made a That's What She Said joke (normally, I am awful at then, as I am a massive prude). There was a moment of silence as we looked at each other...followed by busting up laughing. After, we sang and danced through the streets of downtown, goofed off at the shops, and spoke in accents around as well. We had an all-around good time. At least from my standpoint. I had fun, but I know not of their own personal entertainment. I see them as my friends, I don't know exactly how they feel about me. I guess there's only one way to know: when it's Facebook official...
Monday, January 25, 2010
And So It Begins...
I arrive to this strange, but beautiful, even in the midst of wonderfully dreary clouds and rain, town, with a smile upon my face and a giddy tickle in my heart. This is, after all, the thing I've been waiting for all year long. You, see. I hadn't really been doing much of anything at home. In fact, I was quite a loser and I wasn't liking it anymore. I got fired from my job (a pain that only my closest friends know and can't comprehend, but let me try and explain this unto you: That place was my first love. I really grew up there. I had exerienced my first love (and heartbreak) there, my first cigarette (raping my virgin lungs of its perstine beauty), my first job, some of the best friends I've ever had...ect., etc... I could go on forever. But it didn't seem right to be gone from it. The only way I can try to describe the feeling of revisting that place is to compare it to the feeling of sought after, hopelessly devoted, love. When you see them, your heart stops and your so happy when in love's sublime prescence that the hopelessness of reality hardly matters to your twittering (not the site, you teenie-boppers) soul (BTW I'm realizing that I use a lot of parentheses...sorry. My other addiction is ellipses...JSYK...Anywhoser). I walk away from that place with a gaping hole in my chest and the feeling of being freshly kissed on the mouth by a raging, serial sucking Dementor (If you don't get the reference, please leave now). So I tried to carry on by getting a job a two miserable jobs before I went crawling back to the bastards for redemption. They gave me another shot, only to be fired again. Oh hey you black-hearted, suicide inducing Dementor...Nice to see you again.
But enough of all that. I'm in the "happiest place on Earth" (supposedly, we'll see it is only Day One) which I was hoping, and still am that it will act as a reverse Dementor, a far superior creature of the day that breathes life into shell of my feeble existance.
After many smiles and standing around, I arrived at my building that I will be stayin in for the next several months. Fortunately, most of my roomates are moved in. Unfortunately, they're not my crowd. I wish that I was the social chameleon I claim to be, but the sad truth today taught me is that I most cetainly am not. Anyways, they're all very friendly and they are determined to speak one solidary language: SMALL TALK. The one thing that crawls under my skin and never ceases to itch. It's all "What's you major?" (A fact a friend of mine, Callie, would surely appreciate) and "where ya frome? Oh I hear the weather's nice down there", and being overtly friendly to try and disintergrate the miles upon miles of awkwardness that exists when eight strangers come togther to live with one another. But I should only hope that this prticular situation will improve. Come what may...
The problem is, all this business made me incredibly depressed for the rest of the day. I'm not necessarily sure why. It's hard to exactly pinpoint what instigated these feelings of lonely...alone...ness. But I felt very empty, even whilst in Wal-Mart: The very place that feeds the inners of my soul with non-stop joy (the right kind) and excitement.
But then I walk outside, head hung. But I looked to my left, and I beheld the most beautiful sight. It was unbelievably striking and poignant. It was a miraculously gorgeous sunset behind a set of pueblo-esque houses with palm trees in front. The picture-esque view consisted of the most majestic turqiouse sky meeting with the color of what seemed like the product of liquified skin of an orange and it daced upon the roofs of the houses. I stopped walking, almost brought to tears, and then hurried back to the car with my Texan gentlemen-esque roomie (who I alone navigated to the store from memory which is an amazing feat because, like my sense of gravity, I posesses no sense of direction...I'm kinda the most useless human on the planet) and I dare not let him see my eyes swelling up. That sky, will be forever in my mind.
And then it hit me. I've been reading the Bible during my flights and stay. Because I realized that, though I had been raised in Catholic schooling and had the beliefs of the system crashed into my skull more feverishly than I care to remember, I had never really given an effort to connect to religion. This is all also convientant because at the same time I'm reading EAT PRAY LOVE, which deals with finding spirituality and what not. So I have been reading over the story of creation and the whole book of Genesis, really. And I remembered God got me on that plane, because I repeatedly told him I had trust in Him to get me to where I was going on time, and I did.
And I realized, God is responsible for that sunset. It was a sign, that lifted me out of the pit of self pity I resided. I realized, that He, not a place or thing, but HE was that reverse Dementor, that creautre of the day that breathes life into the shell of my feeble existance. He did so in the Beginning of creation and He did so in the beginning of what is turning out to be, quite an epic journey.
But enough of all that. I'm in the "happiest place on Earth" (supposedly, we'll see it is only Day One) which I was hoping, and still am that it will act as a reverse Dementor, a far superior creature of the day that breathes life into shell of my feeble existance.
After many smiles and standing around, I arrived at my building that I will be stayin in for the next several months. Fortunately, most of my roomates are moved in. Unfortunately, they're not my crowd. I wish that I was the social chameleon I claim to be, but the sad truth today taught me is that I most cetainly am not. Anyways, they're all very friendly and they are determined to speak one solidary language: SMALL TALK. The one thing that crawls under my skin and never ceases to itch. It's all "What's you major?" (A fact a friend of mine, Callie, would surely appreciate) and "where ya frome? Oh I hear the weather's nice down there", and being overtly friendly to try and disintergrate the miles upon miles of awkwardness that exists when eight strangers come togther to live with one another. But I should only hope that this prticular situation will improve. Come what may...
The problem is, all this business made me incredibly depressed for the rest of the day. I'm not necessarily sure why. It's hard to exactly pinpoint what instigated these feelings of lonely...alone...ness. But I felt very empty, even whilst in Wal-Mart: The very place that feeds the inners of my soul with non-stop joy (the right kind) and excitement.
But then I walk outside, head hung. But I looked to my left, and I beheld the most beautiful sight. It was unbelievably striking and poignant. It was a miraculously gorgeous sunset behind a set of pueblo-esque houses with palm trees in front. The picture-esque view consisted of the most majestic turqiouse sky meeting with the color of what seemed like the product of liquified skin of an orange and it daced upon the roofs of the houses. I stopped walking, almost brought to tears, and then hurried back to the car with my Texan gentlemen-esque roomie (who I alone navigated to the store from memory which is an amazing feat because, like my sense of gravity, I posesses no sense of direction...I'm kinda the most useless human on the planet) and I dare not let him see my eyes swelling up. That sky, will be forever in my mind.
And then it hit me. I've been reading the Bible during my flights and stay. Because I realized that, though I had been raised in Catholic schooling and had the beliefs of the system crashed into my skull more feverishly than I care to remember, I had never really given an effort to connect to religion. This is all also convientant because at the same time I'm reading EAT PRAY LOVE, which deals with finding spirituality and what not. So I have been reading over the story of creation and the whole book of Genesis, really. And I remembered God got me on that plane, because I repeatedly told him I had trust in Him to get me to where I was going on time, and I did.
And I realized, God is responsible for that sunset. It was a sign, that lifted me out of the pit of self pity I resided. I realized, that He, not a place or thing, but HE was that reverse Dementor, that creautre of the day that breathes life into the shell of my feeble existance. He did so in the Beginning of creation and He did so in the beginning of what is turning out to be, quite an epic journey.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Screwed Over in the Home state, and the Others Come to My Rescue
Why am I a total and complete idiot? Is it sad I have to repeatedly ask myself that quetion? yes. Anyways, Air travel is a comlete Bitch!, and here I thought it woul be a cakewalk. I mean, Heaven forbid that, you know, an airline actually conduct their flight the way it was planned. And God strike me dead for expecting it to be so.
My journey began at 930 AM when I woke up. Um, the night before I had barely slept...I stayed up til at least 5 AM watching Hello Dolly and constructing a picture frame out of paper for my old senior pictures. Why? I don't know. But stop asking me questions and let me tell the damn story!...please and thank you.
I said my not-so-dramatic goodbyes to my family, including my mother who usually breaks down on site (haha that's clever........you'll see why later) of seeing any of her young or husband leave the nest and, worse, a plane. So everything was going fine as I sat at my gate reading Eat. Pray. Love. ...because the movies coming out soon, but also because Oprah told me to... (It's actually very good if you care to pick up a copy). My plane came into the gate and the onboard passengers exited the terminal. My flight was delayed three time whilst sitting there.
SO they told us that there was a mechanical problem that occured on site... yeah see...clever...at least I can laugh at my extremely fucked up situation.... I say this because then they tld us they fixed it and they were waiting for permission to board. They never got it, and the flight was cancelled. So after waitng forever and a friggin year in line to see what can be done about this, my rents (short for parents...get used to it...please and thank you, of course) had to come down to the front desk to see what the deal was.
OF COURSE, there were no flights that could get me to Florida from the hours of 9am and noon, which is when I had to check in. I was supposed to be there in like an hour and be staying in this kick ass hotel, eating dinner by myself as I either read, or talk to someone else on the phone on speakerphone on the otherside of the table as I order and eat their dinner as well. But no, I'm in terminal hell trying to just get there. The only thing the airliner could give me was this deal:
I would leave Tulsa at 5 and get to Salt Lake City (the opposite way of where I'm trying to go mind you) at 7. Then, I wait for SIX HOURS for the 1AM flight to Atlanta...a 5 hr flight. Then the earliest they could book me on a flight to Orlando would get me there at 1230...still too late. They put me on standby for the flights until then. I was astounded. I was laughing hysterically. At least I can laugh at my etremely fucked up situation. I had to do it, and hope for the best.
So I did. and I went through all the gruel flights. Became an SLC punk, flew first class. But I was sooooooo Hungry! I wanted El Tequila, a small mexican resturant in Broken Arrow, OK(/ my favorite place in the world) so badly I literally thought I might murder for some. I kinda scared myself. I hadn't eaten since Saturaday night so I was really holding out for that meal that was supposed to be on that...te he...Midnight PLANE to Georgia. But it never happened. So, ravnously hungry I arrived in Atlanta.
Let me tell you one thing. There is nothing beter in this entire world than the Popeye's Chicken in the Atlanta Airpot. I was greeted by the woman with a "Hey babay, goot mournin'. Whatchu want suga?" I ordered a simple chicken biscuit. "Mk Sweetie well there you go and you have a wondaful day na!" I think I was in love with her. But I quickly got over "us" and got to eating. It was a little spicy, totally buttery and utterly scrumptous. In love with Popeye's? God yes!
Anyways, so there I am at my gate in Atlanta and I'm praying. Literally. And lo and behold, God works. He put me on that early standby flight and I arrived to my final destination on time. ( I totally forgot to mention the fact that the whole trp, to everyone I met or spoke to, I did so with a british accent...At least I can laugh at my seriously fucked up situation).
My journey began at 930 AM when I woke up. Um, the night before I had barely slept...I stayed up til at least 5 AM watching Hello Dolly and constructing a picture frame out of paper for my old senior pictures. Why? I don't know. But stop asking me questions and let me tell the damn story!...please and thank you.
I said my not-so-dramatic goodbyes to my family, including my mother who usually breaks down on site (haha that's clever........you'll see why later) of seeing any of her young or husband leave the nest and, worse, a plane. So everything was going fine as I sat at my gate reading Eat. Pray. Love. ...because the movies coming out soon, but also because Oprah told me to... (It's actually very good if you care to pick up a copy). My plane came into the gate and the onboard passengers exited the terminal. My flight was delayed three time whilst sitting there.
SO they told us that there was a mechanical problem that occured on site... yeah see...clever...at least I can laugh at my extremely fucked up situation.... I say this because then they tld us they fixed it and they were waiting for permission to board. They never got it, and the flight was cancelled. So after waitng forever and a friggin year in line to see what can be done about this, my rents (short for parents...get used to it...please and thank you, of course) had to come down to the front desk to see what the deal was.
OF COURSE, there were no flights that could get me to Florida from the hours of 9am and noon, which is when I had to check in. I was supposed to be there in like an hour and be staying in this kick ass hotel, eating dinner by myself as I either read, or talk to someone else on the phone on speakerphone on the otherside of the table as I order and eat their dinner as well. But no, I'm in terminal hell trying to just get there. The only thing the airliner could give me was this deal:
I would leave Tulsa at 5 and get to Salt Lake City (the opposite way of where I'm trying to go mind you) at 7. Then, I wait for SIX HOURS for the 1AM flight to Atlanta...a 5 hr flight. Then the earliest they could book me on a flight to Orlando would get me there at 1230...still too late. They put me on standby for the flights until then. I was astounded. I was laughing hysterically. At least I can laugh at my etremely fucked up situation. I had to do it, and hope for the best.
So I did. and I went through all the gruel flights. Became an SLC punk, flew first class. But I was sooooooo Hungry! I wanted El Tequila, a small mexican resturant in Broken Arrow, OK(/ my favorite place in the world) so badly I literally thought I might murder for some. I kinda scared myself. I hadn't eaten since Saturaday night so I was really holding out for that meal that was supposed to be on that...te he...Midnight PLANE to Georgia. But it never happened. So, ravnously hungry I arrived in Atlanta.
Let me tell you one thing. There is nothing beter in this entire world than the Popeye's Chicken in the Atlanta Airpot. I was greeted by the woman with a "Hey babay, goot mournin'. Whatchu want suga?" I ordered a simple chicken biscuit. "Mk Sweetie well there you go and you have a wondaful day na!" I think I was in love with her. But I quickly got over "us" and got to eating. It was a little spicy, totally buttery and utterly scrumptous. In love with Popeye's? God yes!
Anyways, so there I am at my gate in Atlanta and I'm praying. Literally. And lo and behold, God works. He put me on that early standby flight and I arrived to my final destination on time. ( I totally forgot to mention the fact that the whole trp, to everyone I met or spoke to, I did so with a british accent...At least I can laugh at my seriously fucked up situation).
Saturday, January 23, 2010
The Beginning of a New Beginning
I had returned home the day before the day I left to begin my Marketing Internship at a prestigous world renown theme park (I won't dare name it because, as of now, I know not the limits about what I am and am not allowed to publish about) the way I usually did: slid the familiar key into the familiar hole and twisted it...with feeling (because if you didn't you were denied entrance...to your own house). So I went into the dark house and a sense of wonder filled the inner walls of my soul, like snifing the breeze as it rushes past and invades the nostrils. I could tell this was the beginning of something good coming. I had never been away from home before, so it was a totally new thing.
My parents slept in their room as they normally did, and I stepped in to say goodnight. It was simple and brief, the kind I liked. Sometimes they like to have my linger along in silence as if I'm supposed to inform them of some gargantuous occurance that happened in the course of the night. But I am no such person. Much to the disappointment of my parent's suspicions, I am not the teenager that i probably should be. I don't party. I don't do the drugs. I'm not off galavanting on millions of sexual escapades like every ther male in my age group (hey, what can I say? I'm not you typial, run-of-the-mill eighteen yea old). The truth is, I usually send my evening doing adult (don't be gross) activities such as dinner and a movie or staring at a clock wondering where my life went and why it moves so fast...Adults do that right?
Anyways, I left my room and me in my stupidly dizzing state of some weird kinda of joy, not particulrly the socital definition of joy but a joy as in contentment, I became the Ham and movie dork that I am and acted like my life was a movie montage. Sad but true. I watched my little brother Anakin (yeah, it's cool now...but wait 'til second grade when all the cool kids, not that you won't ever become one Anakin, pick on him and shout "Use the Force...Anakin! HA! HA!) as he slept awkwardly sprawled out on the couch mouth wide open and crutches at his side. Anakin had broke his kneecap in a rather intense home wrestling duel with his arch-rival, and best friend, Austin...My brother. Do't worry, there's more...my older brother is named Anthony. Anthony, Aaron, Austin, and Anakin....Adorable, right? ...
Then I slowly slided up the stairs and went to Austin's room (Austin, don't think I'm too much of a creeper, but I totally watched you sleep for like two seconds). I shut his door as I was leaving and went to the banister at the top of the stairs and took one last look at the living room. And swelled with the sense of contentment, I returned to my room and smelled the familiar air. I shut the door behind me, and...
In the words of Anne from Green Gables "God (was) in His Heaven, and everything (was) right with the world."
My parents slept in their room as they normally did, and I stepped in to say goodnight. It was simple and brief, the kind I liked. Sometimes they like to have my linger along in silence as if I'm supposed to inform them of some gargantuous occurance that happened in the course of the night. But I am no such person. Much to the disappointment of my parent's suspicions, I am not the teenager that i probably should be. I don't party. I don't do the drugs. I'm not off galavanting on millions of sexual escapades like every ther male in my age group (hey, what can I say? I'm not you typial, run-of-the-mill eighteen yea old). The truth is, I usually send my evening doing adult (don't be gross) activities such as dinner and a movie or staring at a clock wondering where my life went and why it moves so fast...Adults do that right?
Anyways, I left my room and me in my stupidly dizzing state of some weird kinda of joy, not particulrly the socital definition of joy but a joy as in contentment, I became the Ham and movie dork that I am and acted like my life was a movie montage. Sad but true. I watched my little brother Anakin (yeah, it's cool now...but wait 'til second grade when all the cool kids, not that you won't ever become one Anakin, pick on him and shout "Use the Force...Anakin! HA! HA!) as he slept awkwardly sprawled out on the couch mouth wide open and crutches at his side. Anakin had broke his kneecap in a rather intense home wrestling duel with his arch-rival, and best friend, Austin...My brother. Do't worry, there's more...my older brother is named Anthony. Anthony, Aaron, Austin, and Anakin....Adorable, right? ...
Then I slowly slided up the stairs and went to Austin's room (Austin, don't think I'm too much of a creeper, but I totally watched you sleep for like two seconds). I shut his door as I was leaving and went to the banister at the top of the stairs and took one last look at the living room. And swelled with the sense of contentment, I returned to my room and smelled the familiar air. I shut the door behind me, and...
In the words of Anne from Green Gables "God (was) in His Heaven, and everything (was) right with the world."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
