So much for last night little round of bus trips...
So much never sleeping...
just, how do you say, f. m. l.
I went to sleep around midnight or later, etremely early for someone like me. I awoke in due to time, by the grace of god, to catch the bus to the 8AM meeting I had today. Actually, it wasn't a meeting it was a training. So I get on the bus, and start listening to my zune like life is good. Then I realize I have taken the wrong bus. It takes forever and a couple more centuries for a bus to make a complete circle, but I do so and catch the right bus. Once I arrive to the location I need to be on, I go into the building and search around for the room I need to be in. It didn't take long; I'm incredibly perceptive when I need to be and I found the room in a matter of minutes. I didn't want to interupt the class I was already an hour late for so I just stood outside it for a second. Thankfully, lady with a clipboard comes out of one of them (Ladies with clipboards are always a good thing. Ladies with clipboards are always your friends, you'll find). So she asks my name and finds I'm the only one on the list who isn't smart enough to find a bus that will taken him where he needs to go. She's incredibly friendly, as everyone here is (they claim it's "in the water"), and she reschedules my class for the day aftertomorrow. I'm glad, but thorougly bruised.
I sulk back to the bus stop and wait for my bus. I get on the bus aggrivated with myself. I started beating myself up, not physically of course because then I really would be clinically insane and for now I'd like to just stay self-diagnosed. I felt like, though she said, "treat this as a day off," she really was saying "your not worth us employing and you should pack up your things and get the hell out!" She didn't have this tone, it's just the way I hear things...it's unhealthy. So I start thinking of all the ways I'm going to punish myself for Schruting (again, if you don't get the reference...please leave now....[not really, all are welcome here...well execpt demons...not a fan)]this up.
I told myself, "don't even think about going to a park or having any once of happiness today." But, after a few minutes of self-hatred, a tiny voice in my head started speaking to me. I found the voice that Liz in EAT PRAY LOVE (Okay, it seems like I'm living my life through this book, but truth is it's just a really good book and Liz and I are both on a journey and finding ourselves in some way or another). It's not the voice of God telling us what to do, but it's ourselves; the part of ourselves that we hve the most intimate reltionship with. I was shocked. I never expected myself, in a million years, to find this within myself.
It told me "Aaon, stop beating yourself up with the oppressive guilt you've dealt with your whole life. You made a mistake and those happen to everyone. The world is not coming to an end, and even though the bus is completely empty, you're not alone. I'm here for you and I will be this entire trip. Go home, get some sleep. You haven't slept very much at all. You need to go take care of yurself toay. You've been through a lot to get here. And, guess what? You're here, and truthfully everything's fine. So sleep. And don't forget, when you need me I'm here."
Thanks me, your the kewest! I return to my place and hed straight for the bed, heeding the voice's directions (because when yourself tells you to do something as verbally as this, you don't just ignore it). So that's what I did. I slept like there's no tomorrow. I slept until about four. Took a shower, and got ready.
I've been feeling a lot like a sim lately, not the kind you play as but the automated sims already on the game; taking care of the basic necessities when they get low and being social only when someone approaches me and doing small things to earn a few friend points. And I catch the carpool to go to work when its time and I fastforward to when I get home and repeat the pattern.
The thing I was getting ready for was a welcoming event, a little party in my aprtment complex. It was... a little boring, mostly because I am incapable of knowing how to having fun, at least now with my adult rebirth. I went my roomate, well...I didn't really go with him but we walked together. When we arrived we ate free food which was an upside. We met a gay guy there who was on his sixth college program. He was alone, which I found strange for someone who's done this so many times. There was a little competition where the DJ shouted out an object and they had to bring it to him. He shouted "two guys holding hands skipping" and my roomate grabs my hand and we start skipping to win a water bottle. Woot! Once the dancing music started, he kept insisting we riverdance and cancan. He's not gay, he's just awkward. It's not a bad thing, especially since he's no where near as awkward as I am. He's wonderfully kind as well. He is currently playing Goldeneye. I may join him later.
Later on, Teddy shows up. I was excited and I kinda ditched my roommate (sorry Matt) and talked to him for a bit. He was obviously waiting for other friends (he's a major socialite) and I went to take a picture with Mickey while he ate pizza. After I was done, he was in line with a rather tall girl. I decided not to linger. I was desperately texting Amanda, who was on her way, to tell me when she got there. Once she did I met up with her and ate with her and her super Cali girl roomate.
After that, an Aussie girl lost her friends and asked to sit with us. So naturally, we started interoatting her about her country. She was a film student, which its awesome, and she's a lifeguard down here (apperantly everyone and their mother is a lifeguard or works at one of the hotels. Seriously, everyone I talk to is a lifeguard or bellhop...even my roomates are). It was fscinating and conversation flowed well for a realy long time. We all sat there for hours talking about Australia, and American superstitions. Apperantly, they don't have a big film industry and 3D is a completely new concept for them. Where as, annoyingly, almost every film here is. They know nothing of 3D dvds or anything. They are very focused on American culture as they get all the music and movies we do added to the stuff they had and they love Obama. The rest of Alex's, the Aussie, roomates caught up with her and she leaves as the party ends.
Then the party shuts down. Alex and I are seperated, Amanda's off with her roomates going to a movie (she invited but I didn't want to impose), and I hadn't seen Teddy in like forever. So I head home, alone. When I get home, I sit around. Matt is home and I start facebooking. One of my roomates brings home two girls, the same roomate that told me last night that he ran into his girlfriend in the parking lot and her roomate and that the roomate asked his girlfriend if she could make out with him and she said yes and he was doing so after right in front of her and "it was sooooo ill!," and he entertains one while the other is entertained by Matt.
Later, the rest of their roomates come to apartment. They walk around amazed at how nice it is here. Apperantly were in the friggin' Ritz-carlton of the apartments. And the most amazing thing happened! The girl that Matt was...entertaining...kept making asides to me and then I found out....She's a Harry Potter fan! Not just a fan, a Super fan! She brought her slytherin tie from home! Ah! We hit it off and then started to play Nintendo 64 for about....the rest of the night. The whole time we quoted Potter Puppet Pals, talked about our other nerdy obsessions, and had fun reliving our childhood through Mario Kart, Star Wars Podracing, and conversations about Pokemon! I'm estatic, because when I arrived here I knew I would have to have someone who: a)Loved Harry Potter (check) b) Really wants to see Alice in Wonderland (a little check because she's not obsessed...yet...we'll get her there) c)(preferably) has a car (Check). Done! Sold! She's a little older than me but ah well... I found a fellow Harry Potter friend and that...(for those of you familiar with A Very Potter Musical) is totally awesome.
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