And So It Begins...

I arrive to this strange, but beautiful, even in the midst of wonderfully dreary clouds and rain, town, with a smile upon my face and a giddy tickle in my heart. This is, after all, the thing I've been waiting for all year long. You, see. I hadn't really been doing much of anything at home. In fact, I was quite a loser and I wasn't liking it anymore. I got fired from my job (a pain that only my closest friends know and can't comprehend, but let me try and explain this unto you: That place was my first love. I really grew up there. I had exerienced my first love (and heartbreak) there, my first cigarette (raping my virgin lungs of its perstine beauty), my first job, some of the best friends I've ever had...ect., etc... I could go on forever. But it didn't seem right to be gone from it. The only way I can try to describe the feeling of revisting that place is to compare it to the feeling of sought after, hopelessly devoted, love. When you see them, your heart stops and your so happy when in love's sublime prescence that the hopelessness of reality hardly matters to your twittering (not the site, you teenie-boppers) soul (BTW I'm realizing that I use a lot of parentheses...sorry. My other addiction is ellipses...JSYK...Anywhoser). I walk away from that place with a gaping hole in my chest and the feeling of being freshly kissed on the mouth by a raging, serial sucking Dementor (If you don't get the reference, please leave now). So I tried to carry on by getting a job a two miserable jobs before I went crawling back to the bastards for redemption. They gave me another shot, only to be fired again. Oh hey you black-hearted, suicide inducing Dementor...Nice to see you again.

But enough of all that. I'm in the "happiest place on Earth" (supposedly, we'll see it is only Day One) which I was hoping, and still am that it will act as a reverse Dementor, a far superior creature of the day that breathes life into shell of my feeble existance.

After many smiles and standing around, I arrived at my building that I will be stayin in for the next several months. Fortunately, most of my roomates are moved in. Unfortunately, they're not my crowd. I wish that I was the social chameleon I claim to be, but the sad truth today taught me is that I most cetainly am not. Anyways, they're all very friendly and they are determined to speak one solidary language: SMALL TALK. The one thing that crawls under my skin and never ceases to itch. It's all "What's you major?" (A fact a friend of mine, Callie, would surely appreciate) and "where ya frome? Oh I hear the weather's nice down there", and being overtly friendly to try and disintergrate the miles upon miles of awkwardness that exists when eight strangers come togther to live with one another. But I should only hope that this prticular situation will improve. Come what may...

The problem is, all this business made me incredibly depressed for the rest of the day. I'm not necessarily sure why. It's hard to exactly pinpoint what instigated these feelings of lonely...alone...ness. But I felt very empty, even whilst in Wal-Mart: The very place that feeds the inners of my soul with non-stop joy (the right kind) and excitement.

But then I walk outside, head hung. But I looked to my left, and I beheld the most beautiful sight. It was unbelievably striking and poignant. It was a miraculously gorgeous sunset behind a set of pueblo-esque houses with palm trees in front. The picture-esque view consisted of the most majestic turqiouse sky meeting with the color of what seemed like the product of liquified skin of an orange and it daced upon the roofs of the houses. I stopped walking, almost brought to tears, and then hurried back to the car with my Texan gentlemen-esque roomie (who I alone navigated to the store from memory which is an amazing feat because, like my sense of gravity, I posesses no sense of direction...I'm kinda the most useless human on the planet) and I dare not let him see my eyes swelling up. That sky, will be forever in my mind.

And then it hit me. I've been reading the Bible during my flights and stay. Because I realized that, though I had been raised in Catholic schooling and had the beliefs of the system crashed into my skull more feverishly than I care to remember, I had never really given an effort to connect to religion. This is all also convientant because at the same time I'm reading EAT PRAY LOVE, which deals with finding spirituality and what not. So I have been reading over the story of creation and the whole book of Genesis, really. And I remembered God got me on that plane, because I repeatedly told him I had trust in Him to get me to where I was going on time, and I did.

And I realized, God is responsible for that sunset. It was a sign, that lifted me out of the pit of self pity I resided. I realized, that He, not a place or thing, but HE was that reverse Dementor, that creautre of the day that breathes life into the shell of my feeble existance. He did so in the Beginning of creation and He did so in the beginning of what is turning out to be, quite an epic journey.